Good Eats and Thoughts of a Contemplative Feeler

James 4:8-9 Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Wash your hands,  you sinners, and purify your hearts,  you double-minded.   Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.  This week has been difficult. I wasn't jiving with the lesson I prepared for the high school and college students. Most of the junior high students were disrespectful towards each other the whole time at youth group. My heart has been heavy and conflicted because of the contentious appoint of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the SCOTUS. As I was pondering these events and exploring my feelings/thoughts last night, I realized the root of my current state of being is due to one thing: GRIEF. Grief over what exactly? My life has been going great for the most part! No more school, new job, new students, new opportunities...life couldn't be any better. As I delved into my brain though, one thing has been weigh

After twenty-eight years of The Bridge Church being my central tribe, it's time to spread my wings. A couple weeks ago, God opened up the opportunity for me to be the next Youth Director at Trinity Lutheran Church in Fresno. After much prayer and introspection, I accepted the position. I officially wrap up at The Bridge in a couple weeks and begin at Trinity Lutheran in June. A part of me is quite excited for this new opportunity. A part of me is still dumbfounded that this is happening. A part of me is also sad because I am leaving something that has been familiar my whole life--a place that has been my home and people who have been my family. Although The Bridge will always be my "home church" and the people at The Bridge will always be my family, the relationship is shifting in this new season. So why a Lutheran church? The easiest answer I can give people is that (1) God has been preparing me to leave The Bridge and (2) I need time away from the evangelical churc

"How does it feel?" That is the question people have asked me since wrapping up my seminary studies three days ago. The honest answer is that it feels good, so very good. It feels good that--ten after graduating from high school--I was able to conclude my five-year seminary journey in the same location. It feels good that I no longer have to worry about writing papers or if I forgot to submit an assignment. It feels good that I don't have to spend 6-9 hours of my week in a classroom when I could be sleeping or relaxing. At the same time, I will miss this chapter of my life. I will miss the deep theological discussions. I will miss the camaraderie with people I never dreamed of interacting with before attending FPU. I will miss the hours of sitting with friends and venting about ministry, the state of the Church, and the state of the world. These friends have helped shape who I am today. Their words of encouragement and affirmation have helped me to see who I am and h

One of the fondest memories I have of Uncle Bryan was when I went on a trip to Palm Springs with him, Auntie Terri, Carissa, Cameron, Grandma, and Grandpa. Even though I was younger, I learned a lot about my uncle during that trip. He has a dry sense of humor, he loves golf and tennis, he loves his family, and—like many of us in the Lee and Eng family—he can be quite stubborn. It was because of this stubbornness that we didn’t always have the best relationship and often skewed my perception of him. As I was reflecting on what to write though, I realized Uncle Bryan’s stubbornness was a strength of his at times, especially during his battle with cancer. His stubbornness motivated him to not accept defeat when he was first diagnosed with cancer. His stubbornness allowed him to go on final trips with the family, see Cameron enter nursing school, and see Carissa and Nick get engaged . His stubbornness allowed him to renew his faith in God and cling to Him in one of the most difficult situ

Logan Paul's Japan trip was saturated with white privilege, cultural appropriation, and lack of cultural intelligence. I won't even get started about his suicide forest video in this post, but among other things it was tasteless. Back from the tangent. On the one hand, I am infuriated with how he disrespected Japanese culture and shamed citizens by treating the country as a "giant playground" and including them in his antics. He made people and culture a commodity for his brand. On the other hand, I am sad because--despite the harsh negative criticism he has received--I don't think he'll change. He has actually gained followers within the last several days. People continue to watch his videos, thus generating income for himself and YouTube despite his social media silence. His brand has been built upon the exact antics he did in his Japan videos. The only way he'll actually receive the message if people stop watching his videos...which likely won't