A Seminary Journey's End

"How does it feel?" That is the question people have asked me since wrapping up my seminary studies three days ago. The honest answer is that it feels good, so very good. It feels good that--ten after graduating from high school--I was able to conclude my five-year seminary journey in the same location. It feels good that I no longer have to worry about writing papers or if I forgot to submit an assignment. It feels good that I don't have to spend 6-9 hours of my week in a classroom when I could be sleeping or relaxing.

At the same time, I will miss this chapter of my life. I will miss the deep theological discussions. I will miss the camaraderie with people I never dreamed of interacting with before attending FPU. I will miss the hours of sitting with friends and venting about ministry, the state of the Church, and the state of the world. These friends have helped shape who I am today. Their words of encouragement and affirmation have helped me to see who I am and how God designed me to be. They walked with me through my darkest hours these past five years by listening compassionately and offering godly counsel. Lastly, they showed me what authentic Christian community looks like and have given me a dream for true ecumenism in the Church one day.

Left to right: Mariah, Luke, Ken (hidden behind cap), Ricky, Julie, & Savannah

I will also miss the faculty who have challenged me to grow in my ways of thinking about God and in my ways of being. Dr. Mark Baker helped me to expand my view of Jesus and what his atoning work on the cross means for us today. Dr. David Rose and Valerie Elwell helped me to understand what effective and compassionate pastoral care looks like. Cheryl Dueck-Smith helped me to understand who I am and how I interact and communicate with the rest of the world. Autumn Lindberg helped me to understand how the grief process works and how grief is unique for all people. Lastly, Dr. Brian Ross helped me understand what it means to be a pastor and a leader. I'll forever be grateful for the insight and wisdom he has shared with me. I'll forever be grateful for his words of affirmation and encouragement--for being someone who believed in my potential.

The legendary Brian Ross

I am also grateful for the friends both near and far who have supported me these past five years. Jesse, Sarah, and Jackie have been constant cheerleaders and always took the time to listen to any updates about how seminary was going and what I was learning. I am especially grateful for Jesse as he's endured countless conversations about crazy things that have happened in seminary or how I wanted to implement this new ministry method while we were working together. Bless his gracious and patient heart haha.

Jesse & Sarah Micu <3 p="">

Jackie & Jackson!

Jackson is one of my only students who was actually interested in what I was learning about and would take time to listen to what I had to say, even if it went against ten-point worldview ;P. I think it's a rare occurrence that a student would be so interested in graduate-level theological education. Although he may not realize it, my conversations with him helped me further process the information I had learned. I am indeed grateful for his friendship.

Lastly, but certainly not least, I couldn't have made it through these past five years without my support from afar--Wes. God brought Wes into my life 7ish years ago as a much-needed friend; since then, the distance between us has only made our friendship stronger. I am grateful that he's always available and willing to read my rants about ministry and school. I am also grateful for his honesty and his willingness to call me out if he thought I was being unreasonable or ungracious. I am grateful for genuine heart and his desire to see me serve God and the Kingdom. He is the best friend anyone could ask for.

God has taught me a lot these past five years. I have grown personally. I have grown theologically. I have grown spiritually. I wish to share with you some of the papers God inspired me to write during seminary. By clicking HERE, you will be able to read my senior paper on person-centered evangelism in the transgender community, complicated grief following the loss of a pet, interpersonal communication among Asian Americans, and atonement images in Revelation. I will never forget my time in seminary, the people I met, and the friends and memories I made. I leave you for now with my speech I shared at the commencement gala. Until then, please be praying as I still have to make a big decision regarding my future. Until next time, shalom and grace!

Good evening everyone.

I find it appropriate that on one of my favorite days—Star Wars Day—my fellow graduates and I are becoming masters of the fields we have dedicated our lives to the past several years. I now have an excuse for why Siri calls me Master Josh. I want to thank my fellow graduates for giving me this honor to speak. A part of me still views myself as the timid Asian high school ministry intern who entered into seminary five years ago. Through the encouragement and empowerment of fellow graduates, friends, and faculty here at Fresno Pacific Biblical Seminary, I now know I am a competent ministry leader and pastor who has found the voice God designed me to have. Thank you to my friends these past five years who have spoken truth and identity into my life. Thank you to all of the ministry and counseling faculty who have helped me understand the character of God, the love of God, and the mission of God in our world today. Lastly, thank you to my family for your support, prayers, and patience these past five years. 

The Broadway musical Dear Evan Hansen includes a song called “You Will Be Found,” which acts as an anthem of hope for those who feel lonely and encourages them to reach out for help. The chorus of the song says, “Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need a friend to carry you, when you’re broken on the ground, you will be found. So let the sun coming streaming in. ‘Cause you’ll reach up and you’ll rise again. If you only look around, you will be found.” I think it’s safe to say that at one point in the seminary journey all of us graduates have felt broken, alone, and/or hopeless.  Why you may ask? When we entered into seminary we thought we knew who we were and what we believed. During the process of learning and self-discovery in courses like Church and God’s Mission, Discipleship and Ethics, and Interpersonal Communication though, we became undone as we questioned the things we once knew and believed. Among many things, we pondered what we believed about God and his kingdom; learned about our personality, communication, attachment, and conflict styles; evolved our worldview as we interacted with people of different religious and cultural communities; and questioned whether or not to begin buying and eating solely organic foods. Thanks Dr. Baker. Equipped with new information, we tried to piece together through new ways of thinking something new to believe. Our new ways of thinking though sometimes made us feel isolated from the communities we once called home as we sacrificed aspects of our personal lives to come to this point. We were able to come out in one piece though because—through the caring guidance of faculty, the support of classmates who offered safe spaces, and the patience of family—God heard our cries, grabbed a hold of our outstretched hands, sat with us in our isolation, journeyed with us through the dark mess we uncovered in seminary, and brought us into the new light we find ourselves in this evening. 

Toward the end of his life, the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” My fellow graduates. Our time in seminary has been long fight and race, for some longer than others. Although we do not face physical death like Paul did (though one could argue that writing our papers for Senior Seminar and Advanced Families brought us pretty close to emotional and mental death), we face the end of a season that has been very good and transformative for our lives. As we head out to become pastors, community leaders, and therapists, we leave behind the community of people that has supported us during this season of becoming. We also leave with a faith that is much different than the faith we brought into seminary. Our faith now is stronger, more personal, more Jesus-centered, and more relevant to the world we live in today. Some of us know what the next season has for us. Some of us are standing at a crossroads at this very moment. Some of us may face uncertainty in what the future will hold. Whatever circumstance you are in, I encourage you with the words the angel of the Lord spoke to the women after they discovered Jesus tomb was empty. “But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” I know that God has spoken promises to each one of you and, in your hope, fear, and anxiety, has promised to go ahead of you into the next season. Just as the disciples had the hope of seeing Jesus again, I encourage you with the hope that—whatever comes next for you in this new season—the God of victory, love, and Shalom will meet you there and you will see Him, just as He promised. Thank you and may the Fourth be with you.