Messy Friendships

A couple weekends ago, I had the opportunity to share at an event for the fifth and sixth grade students at my church.  The theme was how we as individual superheroes can contribute to our own superhero team -- the body of Christ.  One of the points I shared was that it is important and necessary for the body of Christ to be made up of superheroes with different talents and gifts because...let's face it...it would be boring and nothing to very few tasks would get accomplished if everyone had the same personality, gifts, and talents.  What naturally happens though when we begin working and become friends with people who are different from us?  We tend to butt heads...and friendships tend to get messy.  

Since I shared at this event, even though I talked about it to the students at the time, I have been truly realizing how messy friendships and relationships can get when your friends and coworkers have completely different personalities than you.

There will be times when we say things in the heat of the moment without realizing the gravity of our words.
There will be times when we act a certain way and say things according to our personality without thinking about how it will affect our friend.
There will be times when we cross a boundary because we try to be a friend in a way that is helpful and comfortable to us but does not consider our friend.

That's ok though.  Why?  When it comes down to it, I imagine the frustration and the emotional hurt that I experience because of the actions and words of my friends is nothing compared to the frustration that I have caused God.  If God can continue to love me and shed grace on me even though I have spat in his face a million times, I can certainly love my friends...even if our differences causes tension and conflict.

I have come to love and appreciate messy friendships.

Messy friendships have taught me the importance of sharing my thoughts and feelings, even if they seem minuscule and irrational, because being vulnerable and honest is more important than burying seeds of frustration that can bloom into destruction.

Messy friendships have taught me the importance of considering my friends and their personalities before I act and speak.

Messy friendships have taught me that the best way to love my friends is to ask them how they receive love and to honor that...even if it goes against my personality.

Most importantly, messy friendships have taught me the importance that Jesus needs to be the center and that we can only move forward as a friend-unit with the help of the Holy Spirit and by choosing to love and consider each other every day.

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails." 
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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