Dancing Upon Disappointment

Since I graduating college, I thought I had myself all figured out when it came to how I do friendships/relationships.  I had convinced myself that the depth of a friendship directly correlates to the amount of quality one-on-one time I spend with someone.  In this new season of life thought, I'm learning that is not the case anymore...especially if I want to be the brother and friend God has called me to be.

Awhile back I met up with a friend in order to catch-up and hangout.  Unknowingly I left that hangout with expectations about how our friendship would play out this semester.  By the grace of God, the Holy Spirit was able to reveal to me that I had formed these expectations and that these expectations were causing me to experience disappointment and to have conflicting thoughts/feelings towards this friend.

"Does this friend truly love me?"  "Maybe my presence isn't as enjoyable as he said it is..."  "I don't think our friendship is a priority...should I move on?"  

These thoughts are pretty selfish, right?  Even after explaining to me what might happen this semester, I still allowed myself to place expectations without expressing them to my friend!  As I wrestled with these thoughts and feelings, God reminded my of how he created me to do relationships.  He didn't create me to define my relationships based on how much quality one-on-one time I get to have with them.  He created to define my relationships in the capacity of service and that they allow me to serve and invest in them wholeheartedly, WITHOUT expectation or condition.  The only being who can even have expectations for relationships is God because he's the Creator of the universe!  I was created to do relationships to glorify Him, not so that I can glorify myself.

So yes, I have been disappointed during this new season of life.  God has taught me to dance upon this disappointment and turn it into joy though.   He has taught me that the depth of my friendships with people don't have to rely on how much one-on-one time I have with them.  He has reminded me that I am to serve all with love without expectation or condition.  All of the glory unto God my Father, forever and ever.  

"Awake my soul to sing with your breath in me.  I will worship.  You taught my feet to dance upon disappointment.  And I, I will worship." 

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