Come As You Are

In the midst of finals...especially when the outcome of such finals possibly determines whether you pass the class or not...it is easy to feel inadequate, to feel lonely, to feel like you are not worthy of all the blessings you have received this past year. I said earlier this week that I need finals to be over so that I can reflect properly about this year. I still stand by that and I await eagerly until after my Bio final when I am able to come into the presence of my Father and be with Him, not having to worry about school, work, or what may come next.

But as I study for finals, I can feel the presence of God with me. I enjoy the small things, cherish what seems silly. Strangely, I am experiencing His joy all the more. Usually through these times, I would be stressed beyond all belief....especially with the classes I am studying for. In a sense, I am a little stressed, but I have more of a calmness that usual. You may see the tiredness on my face, but my physical expressions do not reflect the warmth I am feeling on the inside. God is sufficient...His peace sustains my soul. I felt a few minutes ago that God was calling me to read Romans 5. When I went to BibleGateway (since I left my Bible in Merced), the passage instantly stuck out to me...and it's because it is what God wanted me to hear and see.

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Hahahaha. I truly think that God wanted me to read this passage so I can understand why I feel that way I feel right now. Even in the midst of finals and the emotions and feelings I have towards certain people, I am experience peace and joy because of Jesus and what He did for me. All I can say right now is that this passage really encouraged me...to know that I have access to the grace of God and that everything I experience will eventually bring about the character of God in me. Wow...truly mind-blowing. hahaha. Through all of the thoughts as well, I feel as God is just saying to me, "Come as you are." Many times, I believe that I need to be holy and blameless before I enter into the presence of God...but in heavenly reality...that mindset is counter productive. My God does no expect me to be perfect....all He expects is for me to love Him and for me to serve Him with my heart and soul. Despite the shortcomings, despite the fall into temptations, my God continues to say come as you are, for when you come in your brokenness and shame, I will restore you and lift you up higher than before. Glorify my name through your life, and your name will be glorified in Me.

So I must run to Jesus and come as I am...because my Daddy does not care what I have done, for His love is greater than all...His love everlasting and it NEVER fails

"You can come as you are
You can never fall too far
You can run to my arms
And I will heal your broken heart
Come As you are
Come to me and I will love you
More than you have ever known before
Come to me and I will take you
Places you have never been before I love you more"

I come to you as I am Father, please, now come as close as You want. Take my heart oh God and purge me with the flame and truth. I only desire you God...your holiness.

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